My Keys To Happiness
Stoicism has been a hot topic for some time now, and for good reason, the idea of choosing how we feel is such a comforting headspace to live in. Sometimes that is more difficult than others, but I’ve found that when I can live my life based on this idea at least 80% of the time, I exist on the upper end of the happiness scale.
I didn’t always have this mindset, in fact, I spent the majority of my life choosing to be miserable. I wallowed in self-pity, failed to recognize that what I had was enough, and had no idea of what was really important to me.
Today, I’ve mostly escaped that state of being, and I can narrow that down into three categories. I can’t possibly list everything in these categories, and they’re constantly evolving, but I can share a snippet of how I choose to think about my life.
I’m going to use the word “choose” a lot, but that’s what I’m choosing to do for today’s post… punny.
I Choose To Be Happy
The root of everything I must do to stay happy is to simply stay grateful. That’s obviously easier said than done, but I’ve adopted a simple, daily journaling exercise to help. I just write three things I’m grateful for, it can be anything, and once in a while they repeat, but it starts my day off with the intention of staying in my happy place.
I’ll give you just a few things I stay grateful for.
- People Who Love Me
- My circle has shrunk significantly over the years, but today I surround myself with people who love me, want to see me succeed, and don’t have external motivation for being around me. I’m not scared to cut people out of my life if they are bad for my mental health, but what I’ve found is the wrong people will leave on their own, and the right people will stick around.
2. A Thriving Business
- By no means am I running a multi-million dollar business, and I’m not even sure if I care to, but I’m more than capable of providing for myself, with money left over. I have employees that care about what they do, and I’m able to make sure they are more than taken care of. The way I’ve learned to work let’s me live mostly stress-free, and I’m eternally grateful for that opportunity.
3. Refusing To Let People Rent Space In My Head
- People will always have an opinion of me, and that’s none of my concern. If they don’t like me, that’s their choice, and as long as I don’t do anything to hurt their feelings, I don’t have to make that my problem. I can’t make anyone like me, all I can do is live my life being as good to people as I can. My mind only has so much real estate; I do my best to evict the negative, and only let the positive move in.
I Choose To Be Motivated
This one is short and sweet. I choose to be motivated, and when I do, I choose success.
Choosing to be motivated is easy, and acting on it is difficult, but when I can wake up every day with the objective of accomplishing my goals, I can figure out what I need to do in the in-between. The feeling of accomplishment is one of the greatest feelings in the world, and it’s my choice to chase that every day.
I Choose To Be Financially Responsible
I’m not always great at this, in fact, until very recently my ability to manage my money was abysmal, but I’m determined to solve that. I have financial goals, and I’m going to reach them by any means necessary.
My Goals:
- Be debt free.
- There are of course outliers, like owning a house, but I refuse to continue living under the stress of avoidable debt. I’m going to do everything I can to live in the black, and not in the red.
2. Figure out what’s good enough, and not live to be focused on what I don’t have.
- I don’t need a lot to be happy. I don’t need a mansion, I don’t need luxury cars, I don’t need to eat chef-prepared meals every night, and I don’t need to wear the nicest clothes money can buy. Of course, I want some luxuries, who doesn’t, but I don’t need those things to be happy, and that’s something I try to remember every day.
3. Determine What Financial Freedom Means to me.
- I can honestly say I love working. I like having something to do, and I don’t think I could ever be one of those people who is always on vacation. Financial freedom just means I never have to worry about money again. If I need something, I can afford it, if I want to travel to some exotic destination, I can afford it, if I want to treat myself once in a while, I can afford it. I don’t need to be rich, but I never want to live paycheck to paycheck again.
Stay tuned for a full breakdown of my method for somewhat successful budgeting.
The Reality Of This Mindset
It’s easy to choose all of these things when everything is great, but what really matters is choosing to do these things when everything seems to be going wrong.
Perception is everything, I can choose to perceive everything as wrong, or I can simply view struggles as a roadblock to be overcome. If I maintain the determination to push through the tough times, coming out on the other side means so much more.
Patience is a virtue. I’m not always the most patient, but I’m much better at it than I was before getting sober four years ago. There’s always going to be an inconvenience, a challenge, an uncomfortable situation, but the words I was given to live by state: “this too shall pass.”
Today, I choose to live by these principles, and hopefully, I wake up with the same drive tomorrow.
